Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Showing your "true self" when dating

In response to the Less Masculine = More Feminine blog post on The Rules Revisited:

We show different sides of ourselves to different people:
  • with your child, you're your "mommy" self
  • with your boss, you are your "subordinate" self
  • with those who report to you, you're your "boss" self
  • with your mother, you're your "mom's daughter" self
  • with your father, you're your "daddy's daughter" self
  • with your younger sister, you're your "older sister" self
  • with your older brother, you're your "younger sister" self
  • and so on... 
Would you argue that each of those selves that you show to those people are making you "compromise" yourself or make you "less" of yourself in some way? I don't think so. You're showing the side of yourself that is most appropriate with the audience. Would you show your "mommy self" to your "boss"? No.

So why would any of you question showing your most feminine self to men you want to attract? How is doing that being any less you than when you're showing your mommy self to your child or your daddy's little girl self to your dad?

Wouldn't showing your best feminine self be the most effective way of showing a man the "woman" you are? Men are looking for "women" not versions of themselves with boobs and long hair.

Know what your own feminine strengths are and make sure you show the best of those strengths when around men. Yes, that means not talking about your achievements and goals. (Receptiveness) Yes, that means listening to him talk about his passions (admiration). Yes, that means smiling at him with warmth (radiance). You're NOT being LESS you when you let your feminine side out.

You're being the BEST you to achieve your objective. Attracting men, so that YOU have the option of filtering him out. If they don't come to you, you have nothing to select from.

To paraphrase Chris Rock, "Men are only as faithful as their options" -- I would say "Women are only as attractive as the options they attract."

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